As you can probably tell, that wasn’t a very attention-grabbing story. It was missing something to make it interesting. Details are extremely important in storytelling. They give more information, letting the reader see, hear, smell, and feel everything that is going on.
Now, read this next piece. It is the same story as the one above, but it has more detail.
My eyes flicker open as the promise of a new day greets me. I stand up and stretch as a smile grows over my face. Running to the window, I flick open the latch and slide the glass panel as far as it will go. A cold gust of air blows in, greeting the room with a chilly hello. I breathe in deeply, letting the frigid breeze sting my lungs. I close the window and rush downstairs.
“Hailey! Come feel the air. There was a cold front last night!” The sweet sound of my little sister’s voice travels toward me, confirming my suspicions that fall had made its debut. I grab my jacket and slide into it, letting the warmth envelop me. I hop into the car and press my fingers against the window, smiling and feeling the freezing glass. The car grunts in protest as it slowly moves us out of the driveway. As I finally warm up, the engine dies down, indicating that we have reached our destination. I rush into the building to talk with my friends about the weather.
As the day continues, my homework piles up. A bell rings, loud and clear, telling everyone that it’s time to go leave. I wrap myself up in my jacket and follow the thunder of footsteps leading the way outside. After taking a step out the door, the chilled air settles upon me like a freezing blanket. A single breath of warm air escapes my lungs, appearing foggy and white. It eventually gives in to the cold, disappearing. My fingers begin to tingle, begging me for warmth, while a single chill runs down my spine. A shade of pink spreads from the edge of my cheeks to the tip of my nose. I push aside these feelings and welcome the onset of a cold week. A warm smile grows over my face as I stand still, appreciating the refreshing breeze. I force my reluctant legs to move to the car. Warm air gushes from the vents and stings my bare skin. The red color in my cheeks slowly disappears and leaves a pale shade in its tracks. The window, still cold, turns white against my breath. I draw shapes on the temporary canvas.
The ride home drags on long, but we finally pull into our garage. I am greeted at the door by a warm scent of marshmallows. Peeking around the corner, I find four steaming cups of hot chocolate. I quickly grab one and wrap my fingers around the warm mug, bringing it to my lips. I take a small sip and smile as the chocolate warms my throat. Walking to the table, I pull out my mountain of assignments, determined not to let it ruin my perfect day. I begin to spill my ink onto the paper and rush to finish. As soon as I am done, I run upstairs. Again, I flick the switch on my window and slide the glass panel as far as will go. I let my room cool down and welcome the new weather. Crawling into bed, I slip under the cold sheets. My heavy eyelids slowly fall, and I begin to drift into a dream…